Cauliflower Fried Rice

Two weeks since my last post, I’ll present my small but hopefully loyal readers with two posts this week! These two recipes go hand in hand, and I suppose I’m going to stick with the Asian/faking-the-startches-out trend.

Many people detest cauliflower but perhaps making it as a rice will change your mind. Cauliflower rice has been a trend now for quite some time, and I’ve had the delightful pleasure of trying it with just parmesan cheese mixed in after being chopped into “rice.” But when it comes to this cauliflower rice recipe…let’s just say, I threw out my leftovers.

Author: Corey from Family Fresh Meals

3 cups of grated raw cauliflower (use a cheese grater or a food processor)
1/2 cup of frozen peas
1/2 cup of carrots, thinly sliced
3-4 garlic cloves
1/2 cup onion, diced
1/2 tbsp olive oil
2 eggs (or 4 egg whites) scrambled
3 tbsp soy sauce

  1. In a large pan, saute garlic and onions in olive oil on a medium/high heat until onions become soft and transparent. (2-3 minutes)
  2. Next, add in peas and carrots and cook until carrots begin to soften and peas heated through, about 3-4 minutes.
  3. Next stir in scrambled eggs, cauliflower, and soy sauce. Cook stirring frequently for about 5-7 more minutes.

Oh! How could anyone know the truth in this recipe? It looks so delicious, so tantalizing! Ugh. Here we go.

Step 1 - Chop That Flower

I chopped my cauliflower in my food processor, because, let’s be honest, the thing barely sees any action since it requires a minimum of a two butt kitchen. Which leads to me chopping up my cauliflower so small, it’s more of a couscous than a rice (couscous is a Berber dish made of semolina rolled up into extremely tiny balls). Alas, it’s there, and I need to use it. Can’t take back a chopping. So, I slip my olive oil into my wok, heat it up, and my onion and garlic are already in the pan doing their thing, which by the way, I used a whole white onion. Next in, the peas and carrots, which by the way, I already bought shredded and then used the whole bag. PRO 1: AND PROBABLY THE ONLY PRO. THIS DISH WILL TAKE NO TIME AT ALL TO MAKE.

That Carrot and Peas, Though

At this point, I’m feeling a sense of distrust with the recipe. Can you see what doesn’t seem right? Now, when you read scrambled next to the egg, I’m not sure what you think that means, although I am pretty good at reading your mind if I do say so myself. When I read it, I see take your 2 eggs and scramble them. Not cook them, just scramble them. You’d put them in the recipe raw but already scrambled. I then think about all the times I’ve been to a hibachi where knives and fire fly into the air like they just do not care. When they make fried rice, they actually cook the egg before it goes into the mix. But I want to stay pure to the recipe. CON 1: NOT CLEAR DIRECTIONS. IT WILL BE A THEME IN THE NEXT POST AS WELL.

Scramble That Egg

Here it is in all its glory. My scrambled egg now cooking with my veggies. It looks utterly disgusting and on top of that is sticking to the bottom of the wok. So, basically, I had no scrambled egg in there. All because I’m not sure what scrambled exactly means. I’ve asked a few friends and family (okay, just The Boyfriend, my mom, and my grandmother), and they didn’t really know what that meant either, making me feel confident that my confusion is warranted.

Add the Flower

After my dilemma, I mix in the remaining ingredients (cauliflower and soy sauce). Of course, we already know here at Pinned Foodie sauce needs to be in excess for happiness. However, 3 tablespoons of soy sauce for my end portion amount was not enough for anyone, not just myself. I ended up with probably 5 tablespoons. Love me some soy sauce.

Final Product 1

I still hadn’t really tasted it up until this point. I grab a big fork full, thinking of all the ravs I saw on the blog I snagged this from. It. Tasted. Like. Nothing. A mishmash of all these veggies stir-fried with olive oil in a wok. So, the end result was a lack of something tying it all together. Where did I go wrong? The little amount of soy sauce? The eggs not cooked before going in? Too much of everything? CON 2: THE RECIPE ITSELF IS BAD.

FINAL SUGGESTIONS:
1. Find another recipe if you want to sike out your family and friends with amazing cauliflower rice.

What worked in this recipe: It’s very quick.
What didn’t work in this recipe: Everything else
Will I go back for seconds?: C’mon…

My stomach turns when I think about this recipe. Perhaps it’s the retrospect that makes it seem worse than it really was. But you were saved from this one.

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